---
title: We Have Put a Screen Between Us and Other People
description: Discover why happiness has declined since 2008—and how rebuilding your in-person social connections can restore joy and longevity to your life.
image: https://jensnielsen.us/hubfs/IMG_0662.jpeg
---

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 October 27, 2026

# We Have Put a Screen Between Us and Other People

[By Jens Nielsen](https://jensnielsen.us/blog/author/by-jens-nielsen)

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I heard about a disturbing trend the other day: we are getting less happy every year.

This came from Arthur C. Brooks, a distinguished author, researcher, and lecturer. He’s most famous for his research on happiness, and he has written a lot of great books on the topic of happiness and the meaning of life.

Brooks has developed a system for measuring happiness called The Happiness Scale®, and what he discovered was that since 2008 there has been a general decline in people’s happiness, not just in the US but around the Western world.

When we think back to 2008, most people think about the Great Financial Crisis, which of course caused misery for a lot of people, but the world recovered.  
No, it wasn’t the financial crisis that caused this decline.

What also happened in 2008 (actually June of 2007) was the release of the first iPhone.How did that change our lives? As Brooks put it: *“We put a screen between us and other people.”*

The release of the iPhone and the widespread use of Facebook, which came online in 2006, have profoundly changed our lives, and not for the better.

Then the pandemic hit, and we were all forced to distance ourselves even further.

What that led to, and what I’m seeing with many clients, is that we have lost our social skills. One client said that before COVID, someone was always coming over for a barbecue, and he had a group text with about 30 friends that never went quiet. Now he rates his level of connecting at a four (out of ten), and he says it slipped another notch every year.

**We’re always connected, but we’re never connecting.**

This has led to sadness, a lack of joy, and a feeling of loss, especially for people in their 40s and 50s who remember what the world was like without a screen between us and other people.

![IMG\_0662](https://jensnielsen.us/hs-fs/hubfs/IMG_0662.jpeg?width=407&height=543&name=IMG_0662.jpeg)

| So, what do we do about it?   Well, social skills are like a muscle. Without use, they grow weaker. At the same time, we know that strong muscles lead to a healthier life. So do in-person social interactions. They improve our lives, make us happier, and lead to longevity. But just as that first trip to the gym after a long absence can be difficult, so can it be challenging to develop a thriving social life again.   What we have to begin with is an understanding of why we want it. Like Simon Sinek says, “Start with why.” Quite often the why is as simple as just wanting to feel more connected and experience joy in the company of others. When we moved to Santa Fe six years ago, I knew I had to recreate my in-person social network. So I began inviting people I knew to lunch and coffee. Just to connect. After that, I started a Meetup of real estate investors and later entrepreneurs, both with the intent of meeting people who shared my interests. Six years later, I attend every business event, party, and opportunity I can to get around people. It’s not easy for me. I’m not the most extraverted person. But in the end, the energy and excitement these meetings bring me are worth the effort. I know that the more often I put myself out there, the more my social circle expands, and it makes me feel more connected and happier.   Who can you connect with this week? |
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